Friday, October 07, 2005

Meet my country, The Republic of Eye- r -land aka The Celtic Tiger, "Southern Ireland" (UK Only), Eireann, The Ould Sod, Eire

I's a really boring shape. It's an Island. It rains most days. It's got some really beautiful bits that will feed your soul (in a sad sort of way). It was buried, no crushed, under a 1,000m high glacier (on at least four seperate occasions in the last one million years alone), but it alway's bounces back. Literally. It was originally occupied by Hunter-Gatherers during the Ice Ages. Then the Celts (pronounced "Kelts"). Then The Vikings raped & pillaged & helped themselves to a lot of the bits at rivermouths eg. Dublin/Waterford/Wexford (as in "fjord", but pronounced like the car). The Vikings were defeated by an Irish force led by King Brian Boru at Clontarf, near Dublin, in 1014. Then the Normans (aka the "English") moved in (by invitation from an Irish Warlord, Dermot MacMorrough) in 1169. After 800 odd years of numerous battles with the dreaded English (most of which we lost, with a few notable exceptions), Ireland was finally declared a "Free State" in 1922 after The War of Independence (1919-22), yes we had one too, though it was like a last minute afterthought when one considers it was over 800 years late. Finally declared a Republic in 1937. The Catholic Church used be the Organ Grinder to the Irish Government's Monkey from the foundation of the Free State until a few years ago. Not anymore, thanks be to Jesus. Ireland is also world renowned for it's many fine writers & poets. It manufactures & exports more pharmaceuticals to the Rest of The World than ANY other country. It had NO Freeways at all in 1980 the year I "graduated from High School" (as a guy from Georgia might say!). Now in 2005 it has about 500km of them. It has the healthiest Economy & GDP in the European Union (25 States). Ok, so Luxemburg has a slightly higher GDP, but there's like, about 79 of them in total. All this in a country the same size as a small US State (Ireland has almost exactly the same population, four million, & is the same size, as South Carolina). However our Soccerball team is SHITE at the moment, tragically. We NEVER qualify for the Soccer Ball World Series (World Cup) when it's being held nice & conveniently for the Legendarily Loyal Irish Soccer Fans somewhere in Europe (Germany next, in 2006). We LOVE talking a lot. We LOVE to binge drink alcohol, though we know we should'nt. We have banned smoking in ALL public places where people congregate indoors, which is good if, like me, you are old & sick of years of passive smoking. Nevertheless, even with no smoking to add athmosphere, our Pubs remain the Finest on Planet Earth. We also love our Mobile Phones (Cellulars) too much, which can inhibit us talking to the person actually in our direct company, as we are more & more distracted by them ringing, bleeping, purring, whirring & lighting up endlessly as we TRY to have a meaningful conversation with that person in our direct company. Though often THEY don't notice WE are ignoring THEM, because THEY are also fiddling with THIER Mobile too. We are a Nation of Fiddlers...which reminds me, our Traditional Music is Great too (as long as it steers away from the "Those Bloody Brits have persecuted us for the last 800 years" variety). That's SHITE. I prefer someone like (Dingle, County Kerry-based) Eoin Duignan ( He composes & plays his own & traditional compositions on Uileann Pipes & Low Whistles...musical Balm for the Soul.

Ps. "Celtic" is pronounced "Kelt-tick" in Eye-r-land.
"Eireann" as in "Air-in". "Eire" as in "Air-ra"

Posted by Picasa

No comments: